Life is great! I have a new boyfriend now! I am so happy.
I had a couple of minor setbacks earlier this week, but that's life. I'm not going to let little things worry me. As Bob Marley says in his song "don't worry, be happy". My boyfriend and I were talking about this song last night, and I've had it in my head all day!
Wednesday 23 November 2011
Tuesday 8 November 2011
Blind Sense
Many people believe that the blind have a heightened sense of touch, hearing, taste and smell. Research reveals, however, that any enhancements in these areas are due to practice, rather than overcompensation by the brain.
Studies indicate that those with vision loss, usually have an increased ability to detect and interpret tactile information. They constantly rely on feeling the world around them. Over time, their sense of touch usually improves. When first encountering Braille, I found it difficult to distinguish the dots. Over time however, this task became second nature.
According to a recent study conducted at McMaster University, proficient Braille readers performed significantly better on tactile tasks, than their sighted peers. Study author Mike Wong asserts that these findings may assist in further developing the sense of touch.
Research conducted at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, may, yielded different results. In this study, reading Braille did not seem to impact on a person’s ability to detect tactile information. In addition, those who were born blind, scored similarly to those who lost their sight later in life.
Blind people usually have remarkable hearing. They rely on auditory information to function in society. This usually involves training their hearing, so that they can gain maximum information about their surroundings. The age at which vision loss occurs, often affects a person's ability to improve their auditory system. According to studies conducted at the Montreal Neurological Institute of Canada's McGill University, those who were born blind scored significantly higher than those who lost their sight later in life.
"What this tells us is that there is plasticity in the brain," says Dr. Zatorre. "That is, when we're young we can actually change around the way neurons work, and reorganize brain function to suit our survival needs. But as we get older, the brain becomes more or less fixed in terms of sensory perception."
Even when tested with one ear plugged in, blind people scored well. This study evidences that one sense can compensate for another.
According to a study conducted at the University of Montreal, blindness does not enhance a person’s sense of smell. Rather, those with vision loss will usually pay more attention to their perception of fragrances. The smell of freshly brewed coffee for example, will cause a sighted person to locate the source with their eyes. A blind person however, will use this smell to gain information about their surroundings.
A person with vision loss, does not have a superior ability to taste food. Rather, unsighted individuals are usually more alert to the different flavours in their mouth. Consequently, dining out experiences often produces feelings of fear, surprise, disgust or delight. A blind person, only has the smell and a few descriptive words to indicate what their meal will taste like.
Blindness does not augment the other senses. Such a phenomenon, would result in sensory overload! As those with vision loss depend on touching, hearing, smelling and tasting the world around them, these senses usually improve over time.
Studies indicate that those with vision loss, usually have an increased ability to detect and interpret tactile information. They constantly rely on feeling the world around them. Over time, their sense of touch usually improves. When first encountering Braille, I found it difficult to distinguish the dots. Over time however, this task became second nature.
According to a recent study conducted at McMaster University, proficient Braille readers performed significantly better on tactile tasks, than their sighted peers. Study author Mike Wong asserts that these findings may assist in further developing the sense of touch.
Research conducted at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, may, yielded different results. In this study, reading Braille did not seem to impact on a person’s ability to detect tactile information. In addition, those who were born blind, scored similarly to those who lost their sight later in life.
Blind people usually have remarkable hearing. They rely on auditory information to function in society. This usually involves training their hearing, so that they can gain maximum information about their surroundings. The age at which vision loss occurs, often affects a person's ability to improve their auditory system. According to studies conducted at the Montreal Neurological Institute of Canada's McGill University, those who were born blind scored significantly higher than those who lost their sight later in life.
"What this tells us is that there is plasticity in the brain," says Dr. Zatorre. "That is, when we're young we can actually change around the way neurons work, and reorganize brain function to suit our survival needs. But as we get older, the brain becomes more or less fixed in terms of sensory perception."
Even when tested with one ear plugged in, blind people scored well. This study evidences that one sense can compensate for another.
According to a study conducted at the University of Montreal, blindness does not enhance a person’s sense of smell. Rather, those with vision loss will usually pay more attention to their perception of fragrances. The smell of freshly brewed coffee for example, will cause a sighted person to locate the source with their eyes. A blind person however, will use this smell to gain information about their surroundings.
A person with vision loss, does not have a superior ability to taste food. Rather, unsighted individuals are usually more alert to the different flavours in their mouth. Consequently, dining out experiences often produces feelings of fear, surprise, disgust or delight. A blind person, only has the smell and a few descriptive words to indicate what their meal will taste like.
Blindness does not augment the other senses. Such a phenomenon, would result in sensory overload! As those with vision loss depend on touching, hearing, smelling and tasting the world around them, these senses usually improve over time.
Thursday 3 November 2011
The boy who cried Wolf
When people continuously lie to you, it's hard to believe them, even when they may be telling the truth. An ex-boyfriend, Mr X I'll call him, rang me last night. He wanted to catch up this Saturday morning. He promised that he would be honest to me from now on. Trouble is, how can you trust someone when they've lied to you so many times before? It's like the boy who cried wolf. I'm refusing to catch up with Mr X again, until he can prove he is telling the truth.
When I researched the psychology of lying, I found some disturbing news. DePaulo and her colleagues (1996), discovered that most people lie once or twice a day. According to this study, we lie in approximately a fifth of our social interactions that last ten or more minutes. Research shows that dating couples lie in about a third of their interactions.
So it seems lying is pretty common in our society. That doesn't make it right though. I admit I've lied before, but only when I felt I had no other option or I wanted to protect a loved one. I know it was still wrong of me. I try my best to be honest, because straying from the truth ruins relationships and betrays trust.
Guess what? A friend just rang me and asked if I wanted to catch up for brunch tomorrow morning. I'm so glad I have other plans now!
Cheers!
Bird's Eye
When I researched the psychology of lying, I found some disturbing news. DePaulo and her colleagues (1996), discovered that most people lie once or twice a day. According to this study, we lie in approximately a fifth of our social interactions that last ten or more minutes. Research shows that dating couples lie in about a third of their interactions.
So it seems lying is pretty common in our society. That doesn't make it right though. I admit I've lied before, but only when I felt I had no other option or I wanted to protect a loved one. I know it was still wrong of me. I try my best to be honest, because straying from the truth ruins relationships and betrays trust.
Guess what? A friend just rang me and asked if I wanted to catch up for brunch tomorrow morning. I'm so glad I have other plans now!
Cheers!
Bird's Eye
Hi there
Wow, it’s been such a long time since I last wrote here. So much has happened. The last few months have been full of drama.
I’m feeling a bit out of sorts at the moment. Oh well, I guess we all have ups and downs in life. I'm going to focus on thinking positively. I'll be proactive in raising my spirits.
Research shows that keeping our mind active, is critical to our health and well-being. Idleness often leads to boredom and depression. It’s often hard for us to be proactive and motivated when we are feeling gloomy. In my experience however, pushing ourselves to achieve goals, improves our self-esteem and elevates our mood.
Mental stimulation improves brain functioning. In fact, research shows that mental activity, helps to protect against cognitive decline. This is also true for physical exercise. I often find that riding on my exercise bike while listening to an audio book, significantly improves my state of mind.
Connecting with others, is another important factor in helping to overcome our blues. It’s easy to shut everyone out and allow misery to overwhelm us. While we may need a bit of space for a while, isolating ourselves for too long, often accentuates our problems. Interacting with others, helps us to keep things in perspective, and realize that we are not alone. If we make an effort to be friendly and social, it will help to distract our brain from negative thoughts. Others will also tend to like us more.
A friend once told me a story about a man who was very selfish and unfriendly. His primary ambition was to own his own home and have a swimming pool. He achieved his dream by the age of thirty. One day, he dived in to his pool at the shallow end. He hit his head and was paralysed. He subsequently became a very angry, bitter and lonely man. This story highlights how being self-obsessed, often leads to unhappiness.
Setting achievable goals, is a crucial step in improving self-esteem and well-being. Earlier this year, I broke up with my boyfriend and was feeling a bit lonely. I wanted to make more friends. I therefore decided to set up a social group. Achieving this goal, has helped me enormously. I’m meeting new people and broadening my social circle. I’m also growing in confidence.
Today, I’ve been identifying goals I want to achieve in the near future. I’ve decided that if I don’t get the job I’ve recently applied for, I’m going to study massage or something like that. I love writing, but it’s hard to make a career out of it.
I also want to keep Eye Think up to date. I’ve been very slack with it. I need to advertise this blog, because it would be great to get some discussion going.
I feel better already! And guess what? I’ve finished all my washing today! It feels good to have an empty basket. Ok, that’s sad. I’m getting excited about house work! I really need to get out more.
Ok, well I’m going to go now. I’ll be back soon!
Friday 18 March 2011
An Inspirational quote
"It is not intelligence alone that brings success, but also the drive to succeed, the commitment to work hard, and the courage to believe in yourself. Know that your dreams must come from your heart's deepest desires. Only then will the barriers come down before you. To know your heart, you must know yourself. You are who you decide to be, not who other people decide for you to be. Be noble. Stand on the higher ground. Create your life and then go out and live it."
---
Believing in ourselves, is not always easy. Events, other people and even our own inhibitions, can obstruct our path to inner peace and happiness. We need to hold on to that strength within us, and be the best person we can be. We are all amazing creations of God. We have the right to be happy; to be loved; to be successful in life. We just need to believe in ourselves and our dreams. With hard work and commitment, we'll get there in the end!
---
Believing in ourselves, is not always easy. Events, other people and even our own inhibitions, can obstruct our path to inner peace and happiness. We need to hold on to that strength within us, and be the best person we can be. We are all amazing creations of God. We have the right to be happy; to be loved; to be successful in life. We just need to believe in ourselves and our dreams. With hard work and commitment, we'll get there in the end!
Sunday 13 February 2011
Happy Valentine's Day!
When searching the net for info on how Valentine’s Day began, I discovered that there’s no straightforward answer! There seems to be several legends concerning the roots of Valentine’s Day.
According to one legend, a priest called Valentine, served in Rome during the third century. Emperor Claudius II discovered that single men made better soldiers than those who were married. He consequently outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine saw the injustice of this decree, and refused to abide by it. He thus continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Claudius discovered Valentine’s defiance, he ordered the priest to be put to death.
One bizarre story I read on the net, was about a man called Valentine, who was betrayed by his beloved. To show how much she meant to him, he cut out his heart and sent it to her in the post – still beating!
Another legend suggests that Valentine fell in love with his jailor’s daughter. She visited him throughout his confinement. Prior to his death, Valentine sent the girl a letter and signed it “from your Valentine”. He was the first to use this greeting.
Oh how sweet! I don’t know how much truth lies in these legends, if any at all. But I found it interesting to look up about the origins of Valentine’s Day.
Have you heard any other legends regarding how Valentine’s Day began?
Happy Valentine's Day!!
Bird’s Eye
According to one legend, a priest called Valentine, served in Rome during the third century. Emperor Claudius II discovered that single men made better soldiers than those who were married. He consequently outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine saw the injustice of this decree, and refused to abide by it. He thus continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Claudius discovered Valentine’s defiance, he ordered the priest to be put to death.
One bizarre story I read on the net, was about a man called Valentine, who was betrayed by his beloved. To show how much she meant to him, he cut out his heart and sent it to her in the post – still beating!
Another legend suggests that Valentine fell in love with his jailor’s daughter. She visited him throughout his confinement. Prior to his death, Valentine sent the girl a letter and signed it “from your Valentine”. He was the first to use this greeting.
Oh how sweet! I don’t know how much truth lies in these legends, if any at all. But I found it interesting to look up about the origins of Valentine’s Day.
Have you heard any other legends regarding how Valentine’s Day began?
Happy Valentine's Day!!
Bird’s Eye
Here's a joke!
Lol, my brother sent me this joke and I thought it was funny!
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are
Designated as either masculine or feminine 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female,
and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a
feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine
gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to
everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck
on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el
computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;
and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you
could have gotten a better model.
The women won!
Cheers!
Bird’s Eye
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are
Designated as either masculine or feminine 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female,
and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a
feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine
gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to
everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck
on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el
computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;
and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you
could have gotten a better model.
The women won!
Cheers!
Bird’s Eye
Saturday 5 February 2011
The Importance of Being Happy
I was conversing with a lady in the shopping center the other day. she was lamenting the fact that I was blind. "It must be so hard," she kept repeating throughout the conversation. "I don't know how you do it, I really don't. It must be so hard."
While the lady was well-meaning, I don't think she realizes that showing pity to others can sometimes be annoying. While my life is challenging at times, it's a matter of getting on with things and making the best of it. I prefer to look on the positive side of life and try to be happy within myself. I am lucky in many ways. I want to appreciate and celebrate the blessings, rather than dwell on the negative aspects.
I try to convey this notion to the lady, butI am not sure whether she understood. I think that maybe some people may not believe they can cope in a certain situation until it happens to them. I believe when it comes to the crunch, most people would try to get on with their life, rather than giving up and saying that it is all too hard.
I want to try my best to make the most of life and be as happy as I can be - no matter what happens!
Cheers!
Bird's Eye
While the lady was well-meaning, I don't think she realizes that showing pity to others can sometimes be annoying. While my life is challenging at times, it's a matter of getting on with things and making the best of it. I prefer to look on the positive side of life and try to be happy within myself. I am lucky in many ways. I want to appreciate and celebrate the blessings, rather than dwell on the negative aspects.
I try to convey this notion to the lady, butI am not sure whether she understood. I think that maybe some people may not believe they can cope in a certain situation until it happens to them. I believe when it comes to the crunch, most people would try to get on with their life, rather than giving up and saying that it is all too hard.
I want to try my best to make the most of life and be as happy as I can be - no matter what happens!
Cheers!
Bird's Eye
Saturday 29 January 2011
Writer's Block
Ok. I'm sitting at the computer, wanting to write, but my mind is a little fuzzy at the moment! Today, I'll blame it on the weather! It's 40 degrees out there, and yes, I do have the Air con on. But still!
These days, I don't experience "Writer's block" as much as I used to. I believe it's very true that practice is the only way to help us get better. This is true for anything. I asked a friend of mine who is a really good guitar player, how he got to that level. He replied that unfortunately, there is no easy way of getting around it; you just have to practice, practice, and practice. I have practice my cords a bit on the guitar, but I have a long way to go before I'll be able to play a proper song! As they say, however, perseverance wins the day! If I keep at it, I should get there in the end!
Techniques for overcoming writer’s block
In my experience, some ways to overcome writer’s block are:
• Change of scenery
The beauty of a laptop is that it’s portable. I like working in cafes and ordering a large Latte. For me, it makes the experience of writing less isolating and more fun.
• Go for a walk
When feeling frustrated, I find it helpful to go for a walk or do exercise of some kind. It releases the tension and clears the mind!
• Put some music on
I find music enjoyable to listen to in the background. Loud music can be distracting. Soft music, however, can help me feel relaxed and happy.
• Don’t be too critical
I find being very negative towards my own work, kills any motivation to write. I need to try and not be too critical and just get it out of my system! I can always edit it later.
• Read a lot
I find reading helps with motivation. If I read a good book, I think “wow, I would so love to be able to write well too”.
Well these are only a couple of tips that have often worked for me. If you have any handy hints to share, I would love to hear from you!
Cheers!
Bird’s Eye
These days, I don't experience "Writer's block" as much as I used to. I believe it's very true that practice is the only way to help us get better. This is true for anything. I asked a friend of mine who is a really good guitar player, how he got to that level. He replied that unfortunately, there is no easy way of getting around it; you just have to practice, practice, and practice. I have practice my cords a bit on the guitar, but I have a long way to go before I'll be able to play a proper song! As they say, however, perseverance wins the day! If I keep at it, I should get there in the end!
Techniques for overcoming writer’s block
In my experience, some ways to overcome writer’s block are:
• Change of scenery
The beauty of a laptop is that it’s portable. I like working in cafes and ordering a large Latte. For me, it makes the experience of writing less isolating and more fun.
• Go for a walk
When feeling frustrated, I find it helpful to go for a walk or do exercise of some kind. It releases the tension and clears the mind!
• Put some music on
I find music enjoyable to listen to in the background. Loud music can be distracting. Soft music, however, can help me feel relaxed and happy.
• Don’t be too critical
I find being very negative towards my own work, kills any motivation to write. I need to try and not be too critical and just get it out of my system! I can always edit it later.
• Read a lot
I find reading helps with motivation. If I read a good book, I think “wow, I would so love to be able to write well too”.
Well these are only a couple of tips that have often worked for me. If you have any handy hints to share, I would love to hear from you!
Cheers!
Bird’s Eye
Thursday 27 January 2011
Meeting New People
Want to make new friends but feel shy around strangers? You are not alone. This article discusses handy hints to conquer the nerves and begin socializing.
One of my goals this year is to make more friends. I am often shy around strangers and unsure of how to initiate conversation. This isn’t helped by the fact that I am blind and therefore cannot see the person’s face.
To overcome my uncertainty, I have found it helpful to imagine the person I am talking to is an old friend. When I feel relaxed, I find it easier to be myself. I have learnt over the years, that one of the biggest mistakes is to orchestrate personality. If we tailor our persona to our audience, then people will find it difficult to get to know our true self. We may appear to be insincere or wishy-washy.
The concept of the self
According to Carl Rogers, the concept of the self is “the organized set of characteristics that the individual perceives as peculiar to himself/herself”. (Ryckmann, R.M. 1993, Theories of personality (5th Ed.) California: Brooks/Cole Publishing Co. p. 106) Rogers believes that our self-concept influences how we perceive ourselves and our environment. We have a healthy sense of self, if it coincides with our experiences, thoughts and behavior. Conversely, when we convey a self-concept that contradicts our true feelings - just to be accepted by others, we are repressing our true selves. This may lead to low self esteem, anxiety and confusion, as we do not consider our true self to be “good enough”.
Limiting our potential
Carl Rogers uses the term "incongruence" to describe the chasm between our “perceived self” and our “true self”. This inconsistency often causes considerable anxiety and can even lead to mental illness. It therefore limits our ability to reach self-fulfillment and achieve our dreams.
I have struggled with self-identity throughout my life. Self-discovery is an ongoing journey of trying to distinguish between who I actually am, who I want to be and the person that others see. As a teenager, I experienced significant anxiety and felt distant from my real self. These days, however, I feel much more at peace with myself. I do experience a degree of anxiety at times but, overall, I feel much happier within myself. I am showing others the real me, warts and all!
Conquering the nerves
For some of us, socializing among strangers is not always easy. A person once told me, that when you are talking to someone you don’t know, focus not on how self-conscious you feel, but, rather, on the happiness you experience when you have broadened your friendship circle. I believe this to be good advice and something I try to remind myself of, when I am in those situations. People often do not care as much as we may think, about the way we speak, how we dress, or what we say. At the end of the day, we are all human and life is not a dress rehearsal!
Showing interest in others
Most of us, at one time, have been unlucky enough to be seated next to a person, who seems only interested in him or herself! They conduct a monologue, during which all that they require us to do is nod occasionally and utter some phrases of agreement. I believe that limiting our conversation to ourselves is not an effective way to make friends. Instead, we should try to be sincerely interested in what the other is saying and genuinely interact with them.
We can convey interest by asking questions in a non-invasive manner. It is a good idea if we ask questions that interest us, that help us to find out more about the other and that require more than a "yes" or "no" response.
If sighted, we should try to convey interest in the other, by looking the person in the eye. If we are blind, we should try to turn our head to look in the direction of the speaker. We should try to listen to what the other is saying and respond to it if we can.
Body language
Reading body language is important in communication. It can help us interact with others in a more meaningful way and assist in avoiding misunderstanding. Additionally, interpreting body language can increase our dating and friendship prospects.
When interacting with someone, try to pick up subtle signals. How are they standing? What tone of voice are they using? What facial expression are they wearing?
For a blind person, reading non-verbal signals can be more difficult, but not impossible. We need to pay more attention to how the person speaks, where their voice is coming from, and any additional sounds that may indicate what mood they are in. If the person you are conversing with, for example, is fiddling, averting their face, or sounding vague, then maybe we are getting a bit boring! When we are able to discern a person’s subtleties, we have more of an understanding regarding the subjects that interest them and what type of questions to ask.
Open body language
Conveying openness is important when making friends. Some ways we can make ourselves more approachable include:
· putting our arms by our sides, rather than crossing them,
· facing our palms outward,
· stretching out our legs without crossing them,
· having our elbows away from our body,
· leaning forward to show our interest,
· maintaining a straight posture.
Finding common ground
When conversing with a stranger, we should try to identify common ground. This can be very difficult sometimes, particularly when we are barely acquainted with them. If we try to be fully engaged in the conversation and use all our senses, then, hopefully, we shall soon discover a topic we both find interesting.
Developing new friendships can help us to become a happier, more outgoing and well-rounded person. I have found that meeting new people requires venturing out of my comfort zone. This step can be challenging at times - and even nerve wracking! Making the effort, however, is usually very worthwhile.
One of my goals this year is to make more friends. I am often shy around strangers and unsure of how to initiate conversation. This isn’t helped by the fact that I am blind and therefore cannot see the person’s face.
To overcome my uncertainty, I have found it helpful to imagine the person I am talking to is an old friend. When I feel relaxed, I find it easier to be myself. I have learnt over the years, that one of the biggest mistakes is to orchestrate personality. If we tailor our persona to our audience, then people will find it difficult to get to know our true self. We may appear to be insincere or wishy-washy.
The concept of the self
According to Carl Rogers, the concept of the self is “the organized set of characteristics that the individual perceives as peculiar to himself/herself”. (Ryckmann, R.M. 1993, Theories of personality (5th Ed.) California: Brooks/Cole Publishing Co. p. 106) Rogers believes that our self-concept influences how we perceive ourselves and our environment. We have a healthy sense of self, if it coincides with our experiences, thoughts and behavior. Conversely, when we convey a self-concept that contradicts our true feelings - just to be accepted by others, we are repressing our true selves. This may lead to low self esteem, anxiety and confusion, as we do not consider our true self to be “good enough”.
Limiting our potential
Carl Rogers uses the term "incongruence" to describe the chasm between our “perceived self” and our “true self”. This inconsistency often causes considerable anxiety and can even lead to mental illness. It therefore limits our ability to reach self-fulfillment and achieve our dreams.
I have struggled with self-identity throughout my life. Self-discovery is an ongoing journey of trying to distinguish between who I actually am, who I want to be and the person that others see. As a teenager, I experienced significant anxiety and felt distant from my real self. These days, however, I feel much more at peace with myself. I do experience a degree of anxiety at times but, overall, I feel much happier within myself. I am showing others the real me, warts and all!
Conquering the nerves
For some of us, socializing among strangers is not always easy. A person once told me, that when you are talking to someone you don’t know, focus not on how self-conscious you feel, but, rather, on the happiness you experience when you have broadened your friendship circle. I believe this to be good advice and something I try to remind myself of, when I am in those situations. People often do not care as much as we may think, about the way we speak, how we dress, or what we say. At the end of the day, we are all human and life is not a dress rehearsal!
Showing interest in others
Most of us, at one time, have been unlucky enough to be seated next to a person, who seems only interested in him or herself! They conduct a monologue, during which all that they require us to do is nod occasionally and utter some phrases of agreement. I believe that limiting our conversation to ourselves is not an effective way to make friends. Instead, we should try to be sincerely interested in what the other is saying and genuinely interact with them.
We can convey interest by asking questions in a non-invasive manner. It is a good idea if we ask questions that interest us, that help us to find out more about the other and that require more than a "yes" or "no" response.
If sighted, we should try to convey interest in the other, by looking the person in the eye. If we are blind, we should try to turn our head to look in the direction of the speaker. We should try to listen to what the other is saying and respond to it if we can.
Body language
Reading body language is important in communication. It can help us interact with others in a more meaningful way and assist in avoiding misunderstanding. Additionally, interpreting body language can increase our dating and friendship prospects.
When interacting with someone, try to pick up subtle signals. How are they standing? What tone of voice are they using? What facial expression are they wearing?
For a blind person, reading non-verbal signals can be more difficult, but not impossible. We need to pay more attention to how the person speaks, where their voice is coming from, and any additional sounds that may indicate what mood they are in. If the person you are conversing with, for example, is fiddling, averting their face, or sounding vague, then maybe we are getting a bit boring! When we are able to discern a person’s subtleties, we have more of an understanding regarding the subjects that interest them and what type of questions to ask.
Open body language
Conveying openness is important when making friends. Some ways we can make ourselves more approachable include:
· putting our arms by our sides, rather than crossing them,
· facing our palms outward,
· stretching out our legs without crossing them,
· having our elbows away from our body,
· leaning forward to show our interest,
· maintaining a straight posture.
Finding common ground
When conversing with a stranger, we should try to identify common ground. This can be very difficult sometimes, particularly when we are barely acquainted with them. If we try to be fully engaged in the conversation and use all our senses, then, hopefully, we shall soon discover a topic we both find interesting.
Developing new friendships can help us to become a happier, more outgoing and well-rounded person. I have found that meeting new people requires venturing out of my comfort zone. This step can be challenging at times - and even nerve wracking! Making the effort, however, is usually very worthwhile.
Seeking And Achieving Our Dreams
Hey There!
I hope everyone has had a great Christmas and New Year! I certainly have!
Wow, it's hard to believe it's 2011 already! Have you set any goals for this year? The key factor in achieving goals is our motivation.
What is motivation?
Motivation can often bridge the gap between what needs to be done and what is not being done. Motivation may include internal or external forces. When setting personal goals, however, it is important that we are emotionally and mentally invested in achieving them.
Some tips to stay motivated
It is important that we define our own version of success and make sure that the goals we set come from our heart. Reflecting upon the reasons we want to succeed can also be helpful.
When setting our goals, we should make sure that they are realistic, practical and worthwhile. Some people find it helpful to visualize future successes and imagine the sense of fulfillment they will experience when achieving their dreams. Another strategy that some people employ is mapping out steps involved in reaching each goal.
It is important that we remind ourselves, daily, what we are striving to achieve. Affirming ourselves regularly and being flexible in our approach, often assists in sustaining our motivation. Another contributing factor in motivation is our ability to develop strategies, to overcome challenges that may arise.
Some people find it helpful to set targets and plan the amount of time they intend to devote to each task. Remaining focused is vital, as distractions will often hinder our progress. Some people will reward themselves when they have accomplished a task. This may include buying something, or watching a favourite show.
Empowering ourselves
Personal empowerment usually enhances the quality of our relationships, career and life in general. Our self-image is often perceived by others through subtle cues such as body language and demeanour. People will tend to treat us accordingly. If we lack confidence, for example, we may encounter some people who treat us with aggression or disrespect. When we are empowered and strong, we tend to give off a confident vibe and people will usually respond positively to this.
When we are not empowered, we tend to seek validation from external sources. This can lead some people to believe that we are insecure, needy and / or incompetent. If we believe in ourselves, others often will do likewise. If we love and respect ourselves and others, we will encourage reciprocation.
Tips on empowering ourselves
It is important for us to decide the person we want to be and how we want to live our life. One approach that some of us may find helpful, is identifying our strengths and weaknesses. Making a conscious effort to improve our abilities is another significant factor in this process. It is important to acknowledge, to ourselves, our successes up to date. We should view our mistakes as learning experiences.
Developing self-esteem
Self-esteem is the degree to which we like ourselves. Low self-esteem means that we do not like ourselves and feel inferior to others. Having a negative self-image can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety and misery. It can affect the way we relate to others and how comfortable we feel in social gatherings.
A healthy level of self-esteem means that we accept who we are and believe that we are equal to everyone else. Having a positive self-image assists in building confidence, happiness and inner peace. People who believe they are okay tend to be more social, outgoing and successful.
Personal experience has taught me, that maintaining a positive internal dialogue is important, when helping to boost self-esteem and confidence. It is difficult to accept ourselves, if we are constantly fighting against a tide of negativity. It is important to be kind to ourselves, without going over the top. Over-confidence can be distasteful and obstructive.
I have also learnt throughout my life, that self-esteem and confidence often grow with maturity. When I was younger, I was much more shy and insecure. I projected my inner beliefs on to others, doubting that others could love and accept me. My blindness and hearing impairment, accentuated my sense of inferiority. Over time, however, I have learnt that, while I am far from perfect, I am as okay as the next person. My disabilities have helped to strengthen my character and provided me with a unique perception of life.
Perseverance wins the day
Throughout life we all inevitably encounter hurdles and barriers. We may receive negative feedback from others, or perhaps it is our self who prevents us from pursuing our dreams. It is important to not give up. If one approach proves ineffective, then try another. We should try different avenues until we find the one which works.
Throughout my life, I have sometimes encountered people who lack confidence in my abilities. This is particularly the case when trying to gain employment. Employers are often quick to dismiss blind people as being unproductive and incapable. Blind people, however, can often be equally skilled and intelligent as their sighted peers. Of course, there are limitations in the type of employment blind people are suited for. They cannot, for example, be a bus driver! But it is important to focus on what abilities people have, rather than discount them because of their impairments. A person once told me, that when someone tells you that you can’t, take the “t” away and you “can”!
Thinking outside the square
Living life as a blind person often requires creative thinking. When I was a kid, for example, I wanted to ride my bike, like my siblings. To achieve this goal, I rode around the clothes line, holding on to a rope that was tied to the corner of one of the arms. With this rope to guide me, I soon wore a track in the grass around the clothes line! My Dad constructed a wooden ramp, so I could also do jumps. In later years, I received a tandem bike for Christmas and rode with family members or friends.
When making our New Year’s resolutions, we should remember that “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”! If we truly want to achieve our goals, we'll get there in the end. Things may not turn out exactly how we expect but as long as we get out there and give it our best shot, we'll be rewarded in the end!
Cheers!
Bird's Eye
I hope everyone has had a great Christmas and New Year! I certainly have!
Wow, it's hard to believe it's 2011 already! Have you set any goals for this year? The key factor in achieving goals is our motivation.
What is motivation?
Motivation can often bridge the gap between what needs to be done and what is not being done. Motivation may include internal or external forces. When setting personal goals, however, it is important that we are emotionally and mentally invested in achieving them.
Some tips to stay motivated
It is important that we define our own version of success and make sure that the goals we set come from our heart. Reflecting upon the reasons we want to succeed can also be helpful.
When setting our goals, we should make sure that they are realistic, practical and worthwhile. Some people find it helpful to visualize future successes and imagine the sense of fulfillment they will experience when achieving their dreams. Another strategy that some people employ is mapping out steps involved in reaching each goal.
It is important that we remind ourselves, daily, what we are striving to achieve. Affirming ourselves regularly and being flexible in our approach, often assists in sustaining our motivation. Another contributing factor in motivation is our ability to develop strategies, to overcome challenges that may arise.
Some people find it helpful to set targets and plan the amount of time they intend to devote to each task. Remaining focused is vital, as distractions will often hinder our progress. Some people will reward themselves when they have accomplished a task. This may include buying something, or watching a favourite show.
Empowering ourselves
Personal empowerment usually enhances the quality of our relationships, career and life in general. Our self-image is often perceived by others through subtle cues such as body language and demeanour. People will tend to treat us accordingly. If we lack confidence, for example, we may encounter some people who treat us with aggression or disrespect. When we are empowered and strong, we tend to give off a confident vibe and people will usually respond positively to this.
When we are not empowered, we tend to seek validation from external sources. This can lead some people to believe that we are insecure, needy and / or incompetent. If we believe in ourselves, others often will do likewise. If we love and respect ourselves and others, we will encourage reciprocation.
Tips on empowering ourselves
It is important for us to decide the person we want to be and how we want to live our life. One approach that some of us may find helpful, is identifying our strengths and weaknesses. Making a conscious effort to improve our abilities is another significant factor in this process. It is important to acknowledge, to ourselves, our successes up to date. We should view our mistakes as learning experiences.
Developing self-esteem
Self-esteem is the degree to which we like ourselves. Low self-esteem means that we do not like ourselves and feel inferior to others. Having a negative self-image can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety and misery. It can affect the way we relate to others and how comfortable we feel in social gatherings.
A healthy level of self-esteem means that we accept who we are and believe that we are equal to everyone else. Having a positive self-image assists in building confidence, happiness and inner peace. People who believe they are okay tend to be more social, outgoing and successful.
Personal experience has taught me, that maintaining a positive internal dialogue is important, when helping to boost self-esteem and confidence. It is difficult to accept ourselves, if we are constantly fighting against a tide of negativity. It is important to be kind to ourselves, without going over the top. Over-confidence can be distasteful and obstructive.
I have also learnt throughout my life, that self-esteem and confidence often grow with maturity. When I was younger, I was much more shy and insecure. I projected my inner beliefs on to others, doubting that others could love and accept me. My blindness and hearing impairment, accentuated my sense of inferiority. Over time, however, I have learnt that, while I am far from perfect, I am as okay as the next person. My disabilities have helped to strengthen my character and provided me with a unique perception of life.
Perseverance wins the day
Throughout life we all inevitably encounter hurdles and barriers. We may receive negative feedback from others, or perhaps it is our self who prevents us from pursuing our dreams. It is important to not give up. If one approach proves ineffective, then try another. We should try different avenues until we find the one which works.
Throughout my life, I have sometimes encountered people who lack confidence in my abilities. This is particularly the case when trying to gain employment. Employers are often quick to dismiss blind people as being unproductive and incapable. Blind people, however, can often be equally skilled and intelligent as their sighted peers. Of course, there are limitations in the type of employment blind people are suited for. They cannot, for example, be a bus driver! But it is important to focus on what abilities people have, rather than discount them because of their impairments. A person once told me, that when someone tells you that you can’t, take the “t” away and you “can”!
Thinking outside the square
Living life as a blind person often requires creative thinking. When I was a kid, for example, I wanted to ride my bike, like my siblings. To achieve this goal, I rode around the clothes line, holding on to a rope that was tied to the corner of one of the arms. With this rope to guide me, I soon wore a track in the grass around the clothes line! My Dad constructed a wooden ramp, so I could also do jumps. In later years, I received a tandem bike for Christmas and rode with family members or friends.
When making our New Year’s resolutions, we should remember that “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”! If we truly want to achieve our goals, we'll get there in the end. Things may not turn out exactly how we expect but as long as we get out there and give it our best shot, we'll be rewarded in the end!
Cheers!
Bird's Eye
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